Sales Leadership

Top 1% Sales VP Shares Why Building Personal Relationships With Reps is a MISTAKE

September 26, 20253 min read

Most sales leaders have it backwards when it comes to building trust with their teams.


Kyle, VP of Sales at LaunchDarkly, holds a belief that would make most leadership coaches cringe. While others obsess over knowing spouse names and weekend plans, Kyle focuses on something completely different. Professional wins.


The Trust Foundation Most Leaders Miss


"A lot of leaders will say that the most important thing is that you know your team personally," Kyle explains. "I've seen leaders over index on the trust building element, becoming great friends, being trusted personally, but not trusted professionally. That's where the entire organization can completely fall apart."


The problem with friendship-first leadership? It creates resentment over time. When reps realize their "friendly" manager isn't helping them hit numbers, advance their careers, or develop professionally, they lose respect. Meanwhile, reps working under high-accountability leaders with clear development paths accelerate past them.


The Win Chart Strategy


Kyle's alternative approach centers on what he calls a "win chart" for every team member. Instead of memorizing family details, he documents specific professional wins he can help each person achieve. "Build out where you see an initial professional win you can help them make to make more money, document it until you get it, earn their trust and deliver more."


This might mean helping someone nail their discovery calls, perfect their pipeline management, or close their first big deal. The key is tangible, career-advancing victories.


Diagnosing Fatal Leadership Flaws


Kyle identifies two deadly patterns that destroy sales teams. First, leaders who aren't useful to their reps. "If this leader can't sell, doesn't know how to operate internally, doesn't know systems, reps are not going to respect them." These managers pull up dashboards and yell, but can't actually help anyone improve.


The second fatal flaw is the opposite. Super-rep managers who do everything for their team instead of teaching them. "Reps also don't appreciate that. And if you're doing that, you can't lead a team larger than three to four because you don't have enough time."


The Basics Beat Complexity Every Time


While most VPs chase sophisticated strategies, Kyle obsesses over fundamentals. "Every org in the world right now, no matter how sophisticated, if they just got better at picking the right accounts, got better at their pipeline generation operating rhythm, and got better at discovery, they would see significant impact."


His results prove this philosophy works. 


By focusing relentlessly on account selection, consistent pipeline generation, and deeper discovery, his team saw increased deal sizes, shorter cycles, and higher win rates.


Radical Transparency During Transitions


When Kyle joined LaunchDarkly, he faced the challenge every new VP dreads. Making personnel changes while retaining top talent. His approach? Complete transparency about why decisions were made.


"I reminded the org of the three metrics that I told you were most important to hit. We made decisions based on performance of people falling short of those areas. This shouldn't be a surprise." He then met individually with remaining reps to explain the coaching efforts made and why changes were necessary.


The result? Instead of losing more talent during a painful transition, his transparency built unexpected loyalty and trust.


Kyle's approach challenges conventional wisdom about sales leadership. While others build surface-level relationships, he builds professional respect through tangible wins. While others chase complex strategies, he masters the basics. While others hide difficult decisions, he leads with radical honesty.


The outcome? Teams with the highest retention rates and consistent quota performance across every organization he's led.

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